I spent my time just thinkin about you

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So, where to begin on a post about…nothing, really. I haven’t posted in a bit, and that is partially due to Ben having returned to Eugene. Having him back has been more than just fantastic: it’s been comforting. As much I hate to admit it, I had put on an extremely tough outer shell. I dived head first into working and going to the gym; anything to ensure that I could keep my mind focused on something besides missing him. Doing that, by the way, is extremely difficult to keep up after a while. Forced focus only lasts for so long, let’s be honest. Along with it, you don’t always succeed at doing your best when you’re that focused on just focusing. I know because I went to the gym plenty…and it felt futile.

I hate to admit that I put on a front because it was so clearly obvious to people around me that I had on a front. One of my coworkers, Kristi, actually brought it up several times, pointing out that I was always working, but never that perky or happy like I normally am. I brushed it off as always being busy and tired. I should have just said the pure truth: that I had been deeply missing my boyfriend, and figure out nothing better to do with my time but attempt to be sullen but productive. Fortunately for me, Ben is back, and I don’t miss him being 1,200 miles away. Not when he’s only 2. something miles away. Or in my bed lying next to me as we sleep. I know: cute…but vomit.

Exciting news, though! I’m going to Boulder in late February to see Ben’s piece that he choreographed for the Boulder Ballet! Along with that fun, I get to meet his parents and sister, as well get to spend time with Helen!!! And Keith Kroesen! I’m totally excited, I have to say. Of course meeting the parents will be exciting/terrifying…slash exciting. Yet, I’m not worried about it. I’m more excited to see Ben’s piece and to see Helen and Keith. I haven’t seen Helen since we graduated, and I miss her a whole lot. And having Keithup there as well will be just like old times in Stockton! Yay! Can’t tell I’m excited, can you?

Oh, so today I downloaded from iTunes the new Kanye album, and I have to admit…it’s pretty amazing. I think what makes it such a great album to me is the juxtaposition of his lyrics -which are intensely personal and painful for most of the songs- with his exclusive use of AutoTune and the 808. With the AutoTune removing a fair amount of vocal emotion from his voice, the lyrics shine through so clearly, aching with the pain in each one. Supporting that with the simple beats and sounds of the 808, each song has a simple craft that evokes a very interesting emotion from me. It’s hard to describe, but I really am into it. In fact, I’m seriously into it. Seriously.

I think that’s all for now. I’ll be following Katie’s advice and delve into some stuff from an earlier post. Just not now; that deserves a post all to itself.

Much Love Y’all,

K.E.

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Filed under Dating, Friends, Happiness, Work