There is so much to be said about family and community. The way it supports, the way it provides, the way it gives you a sense of belonging. You survive by it, you identify by it, and you live a better, more purposeful life by sharing a piece of your whole with people who understand you.
This weekend I returned to a great and good family and community: the Conservatory Family. We gathered, from the Mid-Atlantic (Kim and Hannah) to the Pacific Northwest (myself) to Alaska (Vince and Danielle) to only 20 minutes away (Jesse) to remember and celebrate the great life and person, Christina Parks.
We have all grown up; mature, with lines where there weren’t before, for some less hair on the head but more on the face. But are all the people we connected to in school.There is the care, the knowledge that no matter how far apart we live, or little we communicate. We made a difference in each others’ lives. And that in moments where we ache or celebrate, these are the people we want there to be with us. These are the people who matter, and these are the people who all love us. I have missed that wondrous community. It was a special moment in time to be surrounded by that love.
The concert was beautiful, and of course extremely emotional. An personal honor I treasure forever is singing in that concert, knowing that Jeanne wanted me to sing for Christina one last time. I chose Richard Strauss’ “Allerseelen,” a piece that has always been a beautiful and emotional work for me. But it took new meaning for me once Christina passed. First, the text has a beautiful meaning and idea that there is but one day a year that the dead may be with living again, so let us (the poem’s subject and the person he’s speaking to) be as we once were. The clear connection of wishing to have that one day a year where I wish that Christina and I could be together one more time, there is a line that catches me: wie einst im Mai. Translated, it means “how once in May,” or more lyrically, “as it was in May.” This lyric sticks with me so personally, because the last time I saw Christina was in may of 2010 at Pacific’s graduation ceremony. And in the morning, she came to Bianchi, and we all sat and talked, just as we always have.
I wish so badly sometimes that I could have that moment again, to be as it once was in May. But I know that it will not be that way. Yet, in that concert, I got close again. With everyone around me, I had that moment of feeling as if I was back in Stockton, sitting with her, and feeling as though there were no care in the world. It was truly beautiful.
This experience will forever stay in my mind, I know. Seeing the faces that have changed with time, the talents that have only grown with age, and the people who are still those people I met in undergrad but all grown up…it gives me hope that though we lost a wonderful person and friend, her example of living will always be in our hearts. The Conservatory family is one of joy, love, and community. Something she would be proud to have been a part of.
Wie einst im Mai, Christina. We’ll get there, I know. You are missed and loved fully and endlessly.
Much Love,
K.E.
